Scribbles

Everyone is an artist; some people just choose not to practice it.

I feel like I’ve spent a lot of time in my life struggling with whether or not my art is “good enough,” to the point that I’ve discouraged myself right out of making any, during some periods. But I still do.

And I often hear other people say that they “can’t draw,” or similar sentiments.

Everyone can draw!

“Good” is subjective. Everyone’s style is different. The only difference between you and an “artist” is DOING IT. The more you do something, the more it develops–even if only by a little bit, incrementally, each day.

If you love something, if something brings you delight in doing it–DO IT!

That’s my pep talk today, for you and for myself, too.

I’ve drawn ever since I could hold a pencil. From elementary school onward, I often got bored in class and spent my time drawing instead. Over the years, I’ve also picked up paintbrushes, markers, colored pencils, and pastels. The results please me sometimes, and other times they don’t.

But the act of creating always transports me to a blissful, focused headspace. The challenge of representing something visually is such an absorbing process. It is worth it simply to perform the action, regardless of the final product.

Over the years, my most preferred style has turned out to be pen sketches. I have been inspired by the line-heavy etchings of Goya’s Caprichos and Los Desastres de la Guerra, as well as a lot of illustrations in old fairy-tale books. I enjoy sketching textures the most, using only lines to create a mental sensation through the visual pathway. I like to imagine only the rods of the eyes creating my images–scratchy, monochrome, detailed snippets of reality.

As far as subject matter goes, I have come to find that I most prefer scenes–moments in time that have been captured. People moving, people acting.

A couple of years ago I decided to do a series of sketches based mostly on disposable camera photos I’d taken over the years. I used to carry a disposable camera with me AT ALL TIMES, and would especially take them out to bars and parties, since they could be passed around without worrying about damaging a nicer camera. This resulted in lots of fun, in-the-moment photos being captured.

I pulled out some of the photos that seemed like they’d be fun to sketch, and went at it. I like to refer to the series in my mind as “From Where I Stood,” although it’s not entirely accurate because some of the photos were taken by others. However, I still consider this the series’ working title because I feel it also means “stood” in terms of my metaphorical viewpoint at the time. These are photos from when I was younger, more reckless, stoked to party.

For years, I’ve entertained the idea of making a graphic novel, or several. I like to draw little comics, and have been doing that since I was a kid. I would like to make these in color, so I’ve tried doing some sketches with color in them. Some of these are making use of brush pens; some are colored pencil; some are paint (gouache and watercolor). My color images tend toward a more graphic style, rather than something photorealistic or subtle.

I’ve also tried to develop my painting skills as an independent sort of medium. I’ve been becoming more comfortable with using watercolors, and have attempted a few still lifes with them.

My favorite type of paint to use, so far, is gouache. I sometimes get frustrated by the thinness of watercolors and the need to preserve whites. Acrylics dry too fast for me (I think I could learn to use them better with an additive to keep them workable longer). Oil paints are more expensive, and I simply haven’t tried them because they seem like an investment, and I would like to be in a position to really RISE TO THE OCCASION and use them for a planned project.

Gouache paints are perfect for my amateur-self, because they let me work very intuitively. I can thin them out if I want them thin, or glob them if I want them thick. They work well on paper, but less-well on canvas. They’re great for illustration, which fits well with my graphic style.

I used gouache on canvas for this series of paintings, called Luna of the Lilacs. They’re based off a series of photographs I took of my friend, Luna. This was the first painting series I ever attempted, and I feel like it was a very worthwhile exercise. I especially enjoyed the challenge of maintaining a consistent style/palette across all the different pieces. They’re definitely not perfect, and there are a few spots that look HELLA overworked, because they WERE.

I’ve also made sooooo many more drawings and paintings that aren’t included here. These are just some pieces I scanned in a while ago with the intention of starting some digital portfolio and never shared.

I dunno if they’re “good,” and I dunno if my art will ever make me much money (although, it has made me some already!). But I enjoy doing this. I enjoy trying new things. I enjoy making mistakes and learning from them.

I look forward to the many years ahead of me–so much time to grow, improve, refine, and savor the process.